We are in the Netherlands. My eldest is 8. Sometimes, I look at her and think, "Why are you here?" not in an unwelcoming way, but more about what I can possibly teach her. She is outspoken, and I encourage her to do so. I apologise when I do something wrong. Slip or admit when I had a bad parenting moment. That is not very common in my upbringing. They are good, loving, supportive parents who allowed me the freedom I need and always do their best for me. However, it is uncalled for to criticise or give them feedback.

I gauged from your profile name and your comments that you want to make your relationship with your daughter remarkable. With your awareness and intention, I trust you are well on the way to becoming a dad your adult kid wants to hang out with and come home to.