This is a knot in my stomach too as I read this. I think what he needs is 100% loyalty, and that may be what he meant about "supporting him, regardless" He felt so strongly about it enough to get everyone together and talked about it. By not letting you or any of his friends in, he missed out on the opportunity for a better support you all could have given him. Also, I do feel that it is only respectful to share a story (even without getting into details), if you are going to demand time and energy from someone.