I am so sorry that this happened. It saddened me that some people still think like this. I am an expat in the Netherlands, too. My kids go to Dutch schools, but I would never ever ever tell any parents what they should do with their kids. At most, I would suggest a parent group where they can find different options but never give “you should” advice. Who knows about anyone’s family’s vision? At this point, I would have stood up and let her know that I have stomached her judgement more than my lunch and felt sick about this. I sent you a virtual hug.

On a practical note, please record such encounters and the witness. It will help you if you need to report it.

On the “bright” side, you got to know your colleague in a very short time. Now you know better whom or if you want to share personal information with.